I do think there were reasons behind most of the edits, he wasn't just trying to jazz up the speech. He's trying to offer big things without being held completely responsible. He's trying to sound warmer. He's trying to sound more personal and more connected with U.S. citizens. He's using editing techniques that all other politicians use, just changing certain words and phrasing to almost mean the same thing.
The change from "by some measure of security and fair play that only government can ensure" to "and an acknowledgment that sometimes government has to step in to help deliver on that promise" I think that this change was to make the phrase sound softer and almost take some of the responsibility off of the government. The use of "sometimes" and "help" gives him room for exceptions. Saying "only the government can ensure" leaves it all up to the government all of the pressure is on them.
Changing some of the pronouns to "Teddy" and saying "our seniors" makes it personable. Teddy sounds like a guy everyone knows and can relate to, "him" or "he" is a little less relatable. Using "our" puts Obama and the rest of the government on the same level as the citizens, it creates a sense of unity.
>> I think that this change was to make the phrase sound softer and almost take some of the responsibility off of the government. The use of "sometimes" and "help" gives him room for exceptions. Saying "only the government can ensure" leaves it all up to the government all of the pressure is on them.<<
ReplyDeleteYes- excellent point. These subtle differences are HUGE when a vast portion of the American public is accusing you of forcing the government into people's lives...