A lot of the editing that Obama did was changing words to say we, our, us. This allows his speech to make listeners feel connected to the things that he is talking about. By grouping everyone together as a whole it takes away from his superiority and has him appear to be just a regular citizen almost.
The change of "has to step in to help deliver that promise" from "security and fair play that only government can ensure" gives the government more leniant power. Obama went from saying the government ensure things to it helps deliver. This tells the people that the government does their best but may not always do what they promise, not something an American really wants to hear, however it is better than false hope and Obama is recognizing that the government hasn't always kept its promises to the American citizens, and that it may not always in the future.
i do also agree with the comment that a lot of Obama's edits are just a second hand look at his speech which can be improved for listener's to better understand and follow what he is saying. perhaps these extensive edits are just to be a better speech, then a written word.
>>perhaps these extensive edits are just to be a better speech, then a written word. <<
ReplyDeleteYes, I think this is an important point. Some written phrases simply don't sound good when spoken aloud.