Obama Essay

I think President Obama made the changes that he did to his essay to make it sound more personal and focus more on Ted Kennedy. In the first sentience he adds "of us" so that narrows the audience. He then adds "Teddy" an informal nickname to show a connection to his subject. The next changes he made were "He never forgot" and "he was never able to" adding more of a focus on Ted Kennedy and changing it from a general statement to an opinion on Ted Kennedy's beliefs. I would say that most of the statements added are to draw emotion and sympathy from the audience. The changes make the essay more active. It explains what the government needs to do and it addresses both parties in it's need for action. Simple changes like adding "I know that" makes the speech sound more credible. In general the essay makes the audience more involved and engages them.